


I just know

by taekachu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Coming Out, Established Relationship, M/M, Making Out, No homophobia just awkwardness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 06:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16571003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taekachu/pseuds/taekachu
Summary: He looked up at his parents, their gaze trained on him- but of course, they weren't interested in that, because him being attracted to a female was expected, heterosexuality was the automatic default and Mark just had to grit his teeth and push through.a markhyuck coming out au





	I just know

**Author's Note:**

> so I found this draft in my notes from ages ago and I decided that I might as well post it..
> 
> this isn't proofread so,, sorry about that guys x 
> 
> happy reading!

To say that Mark was caught off guard would be an understatement. He grew up with his parents promising to always love him, accept him and to be proud of him no matter what he did, only ever providing him with all the love and support they could muster. Mark felt like he had a safety net around him, that nothing could touch him, but as he sat there in front of his parents both of whom were staring at him, a silence had fallen upon them as they took in what he had just said, he began to regret whispering a word of it. 

"What do you mean?" Mark's mother is the one to break the awkward silence that befell them, eyebrows furrowed as her son looks up at the two, hands clasped tightly. 

His heart was going a million miles an hour, his hands were clammy and without much thought he dug his nails into his skin, trying to find the courage to follow through with his confession, "I-I'm bi... bisexual, I.. I like boys _and_ girls.." 

The softness in his voice screamed vulnerability, he felt as if he was walking on eggshells- why did he even think this was a good idea? 

The silence is suffocating once more and Mark just wants to bolt.. but he promised himself that he'd stay. He promised himself that after a couple of years of coming to terms with his sexuality, he'd finally tell his parents. He was tired of hiding, tired of pretending to be someone he's not, however he wasn't expecting this response. 

His mother's gaze falls to her own hands resting in her lap before meeting her son's once more, "But how do you know?" 

_How do you know_? Mark's cheeks heated up, how does he know? Well he can't really explain to his own parents about his.. more mature feelings, nor does he have the vocabulary and ability to articulate how he feels whenever these feelings are involved. But then again love doesn't just revolve around that. Mark had had crushes before- there was one on a quiet girl with long black hair from his English class, and another on his now best friend, Jaemin, oh and that one time that the undoubtably attractive pizza guy had sent him into an intense gay panic on Jeno's doorstep during their sleepover... Mark's still hesitant about ordering from that place again, in fear that he's remembered. 

In terms of relationships, Mark was definitely no expert, he'd only had one girlfriend before and bless her, she was lovely and he cared for her dearly, but their relationship wasn't anything special. She simply wasn't _the_ one. 

He looked up at his parents, their gaze trained on him- but of course, they weren't interested in that, because him being attracted to a female was expected, heterosexuality was the automatic default and Mark just had to grit his teeth and push through. 

 

_How do you know _? The underlying question was obvious, how do you know you're attracted to _boys_? __

__He knows because whenever he meets with a certain brown haired boy that lives down the road, famous for his pranks and sharp wit, he feels safe. Mark feels adored, he feels secure and all he wants to do is reciprocate that warmth to the other- to show him how beautiful and special he makes him feel._ _

__Donghyuck makes Mark feel _loved_ , he makes him feel alive. From dragging the elder boy on random escapades to the nearby convenience store by the park only for them to hold hands the entire night, to Donghyuck rambling on about his latest dream and abstract ambitions, putting a smile on Mark's face. To sneaking them both into the clubbing scene- persuaded tirelessly by Jaemin, to which Mark could watch Donghyuck dance to the awfully loud EDM tracks- dark ripped jeans that hugged his thighs wonderfully, lip gloss painting his lips that Mark wanted nothing more than to ruin with his own, and the way he _moved_ , the way he touched Mark was electrifying, it was sensual, it was careful, it drove Mark crazy. _ _

__But despite all that, one of Mark's favourite things about Donghyuck was his ability to read Mark- yes okay, sometimes it was annoying, like when Mark first discovered his feelings for the younger and Donghyuck kept pushing and pushing until Mark broke. But it was a treasured characteristic, especially when they're lying on Mark's bed after school, hands and legs intertwined, and Mark's mind is clouded with the stress of upcoming deadlines, and moving away to university and not only being the captain of the basketball team and head of the student council, but be under pressure to maintain his straight A results. When Mark gets stressed and panicked Donghyuck just shuffles closer to the boy, engulfing him in a warm embrace- holding him tightly as he cards his fingers through Mark's hair, whispering words of encouragement into his ear. However, Donghyuck being Donghyuck will also lightly tease him for being so stressed, he'll tickle the elder until Mark can't breathe, and he'll kiss him deeply, slowly but surely, his hands cupping Mark's face as he moves rhythmically- Mark almost groans at how agonisingly slow Donghyuck kisses at times like this, but he knows the other does it for a reaction because he knows Mark so damn well._ _

__They hadn't put a label on it- what they had- as Mark was still finding his feet and that was something Donghyuck respected, but that didn't mean that Donghyuck would stop asking Mark to be his, and for Mark wanting to say yes. He wanted Donghyuck to call him his boyfriend, he wanted to openly kiss him, for people to know that they were together. He was in love with Donghyuck, and after this talk with his parents he was ready to tell him._ _

__"I.. I just know" Mark watches as his mother unclasps her hands, pressing her palms against her thighs before placing her hands together once again_ _

__His father sighs, placing a hand on his wife's knee, "well things... things can change over time"_ _

__Mark felt his heart clench, _things can change over time_? Suddenly he felt embarrassed, both pairs of eyes on him, burning on his skin. He felt uncomfortable, awkward in his own home, in front of his own parents._ _

__"Nothing is set in stone, isn't that right?" With his throat embodying sandpaper, Mark could only cast his eyes to the floor, unable to speak, to explain. Explain, he shook his head, he didn't need to explain anything. He shouldn't feel ashamed, he should feel liberated, lighter, happier... and there's one name that flashes across Mark's mind, one boy who makes him feel all that, and that's all he wants._ _

__Biting the inside of his cheek, Mark stood up, so abruptly that his parents send a questioning glance his way. "I'm just.. I've got a project due with Donghyuck so I'll just.. I'm going to.." he motioned towards the door before he disappeared from the room, heading straight for the front door and grabbing his coat on his way out, not waiting for a response._ _

__

__Donghyuck's house was only at the end of Mark's street, but after sprinting the short distance Mark's heart was hammering, his lungs burning. His body leant against the brickwork of the house, sucking in deep breathes before knocking loudly on the door, letting his shaky hands fall to his sides. Hearing shuffling on the other side of the door, Mark straightened so that he was standing upright, hands still shaking._ _

__Mark could tell it was Donghyuck on the other side of the door before the other opened it, he just knew, and so when the door was hesitantly swung open- revealing Donghyuck stood in his sweats, freshly dyed red hair dishevelled, Mark just wanted to melt into his embrace._ _

__"Mark?" His voice was a little rougher than usual- he probably just woke up from a nap, but it still reminded Mark of honey. Indulgently rich and soothing. "Hey, are you oka--?"_ _

__Before he could even finish the question Mark's body collided with his, both of them stumbling backwards with Donghyuck almost falling over his feet. Mark's hands find their way to the younger's red hair, fingers running through his locks, tugging lightly as Mark pressed their lips together. It was rushed and clumsy with their teeth painfully clashing at first and Donghyuck instinctively gripping Mark's waist from their initial impact, arms securely holding the other boy against him._ _

__

__Mark pulls away, gasping for air, hands now gripping Donghyuck's shirt so that his knuckles turn white, afraid that if he lets go- even for a second- Donghyuck will slip away. After taking a deep breath, Mark dives back in to capture Donghyuck's now slightly chapped lips, the other making a noise at the back of his throat that Mark feels down his spine, the sensation making him shudder._ _

__It's not until Mark registers the scream of Donghyuck's three year old cousin that Donghyuck is pulling away, placing his hands softly to Mark's cheeks and resting their foreheads together for a moment before he wordlessly detaches himself from the older, probably to poke his head into the living room to check on his cousin, but Mark's eyes are already closed as he attempts to steady his breathing. The sharp pain after inhaling makes Mark smile, his mind is too hazy to think about what he's just done, but he's damn glad he did it._ _

__Donghyuck's hands curl around Mark's wrists gently and he leans in so that his lips brush faintly across the Canadians ear, "C'mon"._ _

__Mark allows himself to be dragged passed the living room and into the kitchen, where Donghyuck steadily guides him to one of the chairs that spin at the counter, the younger letting out a quiet laugh when Mark almost falls off said chair, "you can never manage to sit still on them, can you?"_ _

__The older of the two just hums in reply, his eyes falling from Donghyuck's eyes, to his lips, to their hands intertwined, "I didn't realise you were on babysitter duty, sorry"_ _

__Mark's not actually sorry, and at that Donghyuck smiles, "It's chill, Chenle's just watching cartoons so he'll be good until my aunt swings by to pick him up" the two fall into a comfortable silence, Donghyuck's thumb brushing softly against Mark's hand. He doesn't pry, which Mark is thankful for, even though he can tell Donghyuck must be ever so curious as to why Mark basically tackled him a few minutes ago and openly kissed him without knowing who was going to be inside, he knows that Mark will tell him when he's ready. Donghyuck just pulls Mark closer so that he's sat in between Donghyuck's thighs, and he carefully pulls Mark to his chest so that his arms can reach around him, once again holding him close._ _

__Chenle gets picked up around an hour later and after Donghyuck waves him goodbye, Mark is once again being led up the stairs and into Donghyuck's room. Mark barely has time to register the latest Red Velvet poster that's made it onto the 'wall of fame' before he's coaxed so that he's now lying on Donghyuck's bed, the other snuggling soundly into his side. Mark presses a sweet kiss to Donghyuck's hair before busying himself with continuing to map out the moles currently on show due to Donghyuck's loose shirt. They're scattered across his skin, almost like constellations in the night sky and Mark wants nothing more than to kiss each and every one of them, and so he will... but after he's explained everything that happened in the build up to his visit._ _

__"I told them"_ _

__"Mm" Donghyuck buries his face into the crook of Mark's neck, slightly confused and clearly ready to doze off._ _

__"I told them, my parents, that I'm bi" He feels Donghyuck squeeze him a little tighter than he was before and he looks down at the other who's sprawled out next to him, legs tangled._ _

__Donghyuck tilts his head up to place a soft kiss to Mark's jaw before he rests his head on the others chest, "are you okay?"_ _

__"I am" Donghyuck looks up to see Mark's lips twitch upwards, "It may take time but I'm okay"_ _

_I'm okay because I've got you, "Hyuckie.."_  
Mark shifts, gently pushing Donghyuck off his body so that he's leaning against his elbow to look at the boy lying next to him. Mark brings a hand to cup Donghyuck's cheek and the younger leans into his touch, sighing contently, "I think I'm in love with you"

__

__Donghyuck opens his eyes slowly, and places his own hand over Mark's, "And I think you're the last one to know"_ _

__

__Mark narrows his eyes playfully, pushing himself up and swinging a leg over Donghyuck so he's pinned under Mark. Donghyuck breaks out into a grin, one that Mark then mirrors just before they're kissing again, soft and sweetly._ _

__

__Mark pulls away much earlier than Donghyuck would've liked, considering the younger chases after for another kiss, but Mark just eases him back down with a laugh "Hyuck?"_ _

__

__"Yes Mark?" He bats his eyelashes quickly, which causes Mark to collapse besides him, his laugh growing louder. Donghyuck takes this opportunity to climb over Mark so that there positions are now switched, and to place a kiss to Mark's cheek, watching as the others cheeks gradually turn scarlet._ _

__

__Once Mark's calmed down, he glances up at Donghyuck, smiling at the glint of amusement present in the others eyes, "I love you", he whispers, so quietly that Donghyuck almost misses it, almost._ _

__

__Donghyuck leans down to press another quick kiss to Mark's lips, "I love you too"._ _

__

**Author's Note:**

> I wish had the chance to make out with Hyuck after I had that convo with my parents..
> 
> anywayy comments and kudos are very much so appreciated, and thank you guys for reading x


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